82 minutes of remorse

Nicole Richie turned herself in to jail yesterday, and turned herself right around 82 minutes later. Eighty-two minutes is barely enough time for the dank prison air to hit your lungs, but apparently it was enough time to deem Nicole a "cooperative" inmate. Of course she was cooperative. I hear claustrophobia doesn't set in until the 83rd minute.

So, to commemorate her 82 minutes, I offer you a list of 10 activities that can be accomplished within 82 minutes' time.

1. Get a manicure, pedicure, and allow adequate time for drying
2. Renew your license on a busy day at a Manhattan DMV
3. View the Simpsons movie (exact running time, 82 minutes)
4. Go to the dentist, get X-rays, a cleaning, and travel back home
5. Knit an infant-sized hat
6. Fly from New York City to Nantucket, and collect your luggage
7. Wait for a table at Nobu
8. Watch two episodes of Top Chef, if you fast forward the commercials
9. Play a leisurely game of Scrabble
10. Read the important parts of Nicole's book The Truth About Diamonds, at least twice

Karl, I hardly knew ye

"Mom, who is Karl Rove?"
I shouted this question into my cell phone about five years ago, just moments after completely Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism written exam. The exam is part of the school's application process, and involves essays, grammar tests, and an identification portion, which included a list of news makers from the previous year; your task was to identify each person, place or thing as thoroughly as possible in the time allotted. Having a pretty good memory for these things, I made my way through the list with relative ease, smug in the knowledge many of the other test takers were clearly having difficulties. In the end, there were only two names for which I did not have a clear answer. The first: Lee Bollinger. Since the Enron scandal was still unfolding at the time and since I was not in any way capable of willing my brain into absorbing the names of everyone involved in the Enron scandal, I assumed Mr. Bollinger must be one of the many players, and so I scrawled, with only seconds left, "individual implicated in the Enron scandal." Ironically, Lee Bollinger was the newly appointed president of Columbia University (this gaffe did not keep me from being admitted to the school, I might add).

The second person? Yes, Karl Rove (or, according to my exam, "another individual implicated in the Enron scandal"). For the record, my mom had to go to the computer and look him up; at the time he wasn't infamous only in small circles. For the last five years, every time I hear the name Karl Rove, I immediately remembered that he made up 50% of my errors on identification portion of my entrance exam. Instead of his name connoting is own failures, it only reminded me of mine--even if there was some humor and irony to be had in both mistakes.

So goodbye, Karl Rove. This is the end of an era--for both of us. As they say, thanks for the memories.

Have fun pooping yourself skinny

So, people here in my office are swapping Alli horror stories. Stories of eating breakfast, and OOPS! .... stories of sitting in a meeting, and OOPS! Friends: When the manufacturer suggests that when taking Alli you wear black to the office, that you bring a change of clothes, DO YOU THINK THEY ARE KIDDING?

At any rate, I'm glad some people in my circle tried it. It was good for a laugh.

It's time to move on

Lee Woodruff today posted an astute essay, "Silent sufferers and walking wounded -- the brain injured," the link for which you'll find below. Lee's husband Bob Woodruff suffered from traumatic brain injury in January 2006 was injured when an IED exploded next to his APC in Iraq, and in this piece, Lee writes candidly and succinctly about TBI, and the need for the field of neuroscience to better understand TBI.

Although I am fairly confident that Lee's purpose in writing this essay was to focus on the need for a greater understanding of TBI, something different stuck a chord with me. Consider the following points from Lee's piece:
"The vast numbers of people returning from the war with these injuries, an estimated 15-30 percent of the 1.5 million cycling through Afghanistan and Iraq, are helping to redefine what we collectively know about brain injury."

And then: "At the same time we are tackling our veterans' care and demanding sufficient cognitive rehabilitation, we need to remain focused on the other Americans who are suffering from this disease. Only then will we be able to better understand how to help the legions of silent sufferers.

And only then will we be able to best serve those brave Americans who have so generously served us. There is a plaque in the cemetery at Iwo Jima in Japan, 'They gave of themselves today so that you could have your tomorrow.'"

What am I getting at? This understanding-- of TBI, of having "your tomorrow" -- all of this can only be accomplished when we move past the point that we probably shouldn't be in Iraq anyway. We are there, and many, many brave men and women are fighting because the rest of us don't want to. It's time to move past the politics of hindsight and stand behind the soldiers and reporters who are in Iraq, heading to Iraq, or have just returned home.

If there is going to be some upshot of this war, if, like Lee is suggesting we stand to improve veteran's rights, and encourage the scientific community's understanding of TBI, then I'm all for it. But sadly, I don't feel we will get anywhere past the chatter of an optimistic few until the many cynics figure out that our soldiers aren't baby killers; they're doing a job that the majority of us never want to have.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lee-woodruff/silent-sufferers-and-walk_b_58706.html